Most couples seek counselling when problems within their relationship begin to significantly affect their sense of well-being and their quality of life.
For instance, a couple may feel they can no longer communicate or get into loud shouting matches. People may feel their partner no longer cares for or loves them. Others feel nothing they do is good enough,or that they are being controlled, criticized or smothered by their partner. In the end, both partners feel, sad, alone, unheard, invalidated, and hopeless.
Research on Adult Attachment and Couples Therapy has found that 80% of couples will fall into a Pursue/Withdraw pattern. One partner is feeling unloved and uncared for in the relationship and pursues their needs by attacking, blaming, demanding, and criticizing, while the other partner is feeling rejected/not good enough and withdraws and tries to shut down the fighting to reduce the conflict. Eventually the pursuer burns out and moves into a withdrawn hopeless state and sometimes detaches from the relationship.
The good news is that there is HOPE for your relationship. In most cases, problems within a relationship result from negative beliefs, unmet needs, suppressed emotions, and unhealthy communication patterns.
Once these are identified, Robin helps you to:
- develop a deeper awareness of what is taking place beneath the conflict
- learn to escape dysfunctional patterns
- reconstruct your communication so you feel more emotionally supported, heard, and validated.
Within the first 6-10 sessions, with Robins’ guidance, couples experience a de-escalation in conflict as they begin to develop more compassion, empathy and understanding for each other and of what is happening in their relationship. Couples also learn to identify how their partner is feeling on a deeper level.
Robin provides couples with tools and teaches partners how to effectively resolve conflicts outside of sessions. Withdrawing partners learn how to understand what they are feeling and are able to communicate their needs directly to their partners instead of distancing. Partners who pursue with anger, blame or criticism learn how to soften their approach, communicate with more vulnerability, and reach for comfort and reassurance.
For example many couples enter Robin’s office feeling like they at their wits end. For many, they are stuck in a pattern of conflict or else days of stony silence and painful disconnection. Many couples want more out of their relationship- increased closeness and intimacy, to feel important, special and cared about, as well as the ability to communicate, the ability to work through daily problems with children and shared responsibilities. Partners also want to feel appreciated and valued, and to have more quality time together. Robin can help you to better understand how to stop the negative patterns of conflict and learn how to communicate in a healthy way so you can get what you are really needing out of your relationship.
Main Outcome: Couples learn how to stop negative cycles of conflict and switch to communicating their deeper attachment fears and needs in a simple and direct way, gaining long-lasting security in your relationship and happiness!
Robin Morgan is highly trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, a technique that is proven to help 70-75% of all couples (American Psychological Association).